Been quiet sometime since I last posted something. I was and still am away. No not from my computer but from everything. I am trying to be deattached to everything I am very attached, everything I love, everything I thought I couldn’t have lived without.
Why?
Well, I have been very busy with my life. Personal life. Though work is also a factor, mainly its all about personal life… and then realization. On one of these days when the sun is all set to go down and you can see both, Sun and the moon in the sky, yes, at one of these times, it dawned on me that, the root cause of all my misery and depression is EXPECTATION.
And expectation is a fruit or product of ATTACHMENT.
You get attached to somebody or someone or something and your head starts playing those complicated games, not that it wasn’t already doing that, but now its more complex, complicated and involves more parameters that you possibly know of. You invest money and time and then emotion but everything seems not working. You get so angry that you throw things around. BLOODY HELL!
But why? Because you had some expectations. But things didn’t work out as you expected it to, no matter how much effort you’ve put in. It has decided not to work, so it won’t. And all your big hopes and expectations go into ocean of damness.
And why do you have so much of expectations? Because, bloody you’re attached to it. Since I have and I continue to go through these kind of situations, I am trying to be deattached from everything I really love, everything which I considered to be my treasured possession. Starting off with the people around me. My friends, my family and most importantly myself.
I’ve become so numb, I now fail to differentiate between things that make me happy and things that make me sad. I just feel nothing. In a way, I consider it to be a very good sign. For I am getting deattached to everything.
You can compare our attachments to that of the email system. Heavier the file, greater the time to attach and once its attached, you feel great but if it doesn’t, with all that time you waited for it to, then you feel miserable. And lets say you finally get to attach the files, then you send it to the desired end user but what do you to actually is flood the network traffic with heavy packet and packet load. These loads later on, hamper the efficiency of the network and its performance. And because of these attachments floating in the network, your other incoming and outgoing information, with or without attachment is not on time. So, avoid attachments. They might just contain viruses or worms.
